How to Stop Being a Perfectionist: 5 Tips
What is perfectionism? Perfectionism is defined as striving for perfection and often over-criticizing oneself when they have not met their perfect standard. Whether it’s based on education, business, or personal, perfectionism prevents one from realizing there is no such thing as perfection.
1. Breakdown Big Goals
One of the first things I did to stop being a perfectionist was to break down any goals I had for myself. An example of this is when I had the idea to create project websites for practice in my field of website development. I was excited but I had a lot of ideas and it felt like a big obstacle to overcome. Once I wrote down all the ideas I had and wrote down step by step what I needed to do to achieve this goal I felt a lot of relief. It made me see every step as a stepping stone to reach that goal without feeling overwhelmed. As you break down your big goals you will see that they are small achievable goals. If you have a dream or a goal you tend to think is too “unrealistic” go ahead and break it down into smaller goals and you’ll soon realize it is realistic.
2. Embrace Imperfection
Embracing imperfection is the bravest thing one can do. Imperfection is all around us, no rule or law stops us from being so. The more you welcome it with open arms the more free you will feel. It’s not about starting perfectly, it’s just about starting and going up from there. Although you can never achieve perfection, remember there is always room for improvement.
3. Self Compassion
Society has trained us to beat ourselves up for not being perfect in every imaginable way. From the perfect lighting, the perfect body, to the perfect life. Give yourself grace when things don’t go the way you imagined. It’s crucial to speak gently to yourself as you need to accept mistakes that are bound to happen- mistakes that need to happen. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Self-compassion can take you to greater lengths for your self-love, confidence, and ability to look for positivity when things are not going as planned. One thing that has stuck with me to help with positive self-talk was to imagine talking to your younger self. What would you have liked to hear from others around you?
4. Focus on Meaning and Feeling
With social media at the tips of our fingers it’s easy to fall into the mindset of needing everything in your life to be perfect. Shift that need for perfection to the need of meaningful and fulfilling projects, whatever they are. You can never be happy when everything is “Perfect”. You will feel at peace, fulfilled, and free when you do things that add real meaning to your life.
5. Challenge Perfectionist Thoughts
Start by writing down mistakes and the solutions & lessons to it. This notebook will remind you that even when something is imperfect there is always a way to change it- although not perfect, things can always improve for the better. When negative thoughts occur, ask yourself what good comes from those thoughts, are they helpful? Are they truthful?
As you start your next project keep these 5 tips in mind. Be gentle and remind yourself that striving for perfection is an unrealistic expectation and will defeat any motivation you have. Even though society has conditioned us to be picture-perfect, always remind yourself that perfect does not and will never exist, and that’s okay, you don’t need to be perfect to be successful.
